At the end of the day, I could care less how others where their hair, but I've never worn a weave and never will. And if I can help it, neither will my kids. What should simply be a hairstyle is really a complex. And exactly how can you break that when it starts as young as 3?
Pay no mind to the channel where I got this embedded video. This YouTube channel seems to be full of videos bashing Black women (surprise, surprise) and talking about what we ain't doing, shouldn't be doing as if we are a monolithic group. But I'll save that rant for my personal blog.
What do y'all think? Any former weave wearers feel that they had a complex about their hair and image? Did you feel more attractive with longer hair? I understand that this is an issue among girls of all backgrounds. Anyone ever catch those make-overs on America's Next Top Model. Just about every season, there was a white girl screaming bloody murder over the thought of having her hair cut. For some reason, women in general associate longer hair with femininity. Why is that?
17 comments:
I think video speaks more to the craziness that those pageants have people doing to their children. The white moms and lil girls and boys be on one, too. That whole scene is just creepy.
The media puts emphasis on long hair. Saying you're not beautiful unless it's long and straight. Those that aren't born with long hair or can't grow long opt to buy it. Way back in the day I shared those thoughts. Now that I am much older and wiser I am so glad I realize short, long, its the person you are inside that is beautiful. It's sad to see young girls with weave. In the long run they will be bald and too ashame to show there real hair. I'm so glad I'm over the madness. I feel free as a bird to wear my own hair :)
That’s phony! White women in the pageant world put weave and track and wigs on their kids all the time. In this case I just see this woman as trying to have her granddaughter keep up with these white kids in the pageant world.
Now how I feel about the pageant world is a whole different topic….
As for weaves, I used to wear them and they used to LOOK A HAPPY HOT MESS! Looking back at the pictures, thinking about the glue and the time and the uggghhh!!! I can’t stand it!!! I’ve ALWAYS wanted long hair! I used to put stockings on my head and pretend I was the Little Mermaid with long red hair when I was little! I welcomed the idea of tracks, weaves and braids. They tore my hair up!! I did have a complex about my short tattered hair. It at least needed to look longer! Nothing good came out of it. I had weaves, tracks, all types of African braids, the ones that put a hurting on your pockets! When I got my dreads in 03 my hair was really really short and I had a bad complex about that… I actually covered my baby dreads with a hat when I could. People started spreading rumors about my sexuality because they thought I did the Big Chop when I didn’t…my two strands were just short, granted I wasn’t the most feminine person then but still… those rumors and lies hurt. Then my hair grew out of control, and grew faster than it had ever been in my life! Before long my dreads were down my back and I had the healthy, long (red ) hair I always wanted!!! I thought people found me more attractive with long hair because everyone wants and likes long hair right??? That’s what we as a society are taught! THAT WAS SOOO SOOO OVER RATED!!!! I cut my dreads in 06 because I was sick of the long luxurious (and hot and heavy) hair that I always wanted! I cut my dreads above my shoulders and loved it! Before I knew it they were back down my back again and I was sick of having the long locs… so last month I cut them again to right at my shoulders in the front and shorter in the back, a tilt... No biggie and I LOVE the style! I’m so past having long hair for real…Long hair is over rated in my book! I see my daughter wanting long hair…and it breaks my heart because I did something I am ashamed to say I did… when my daughter was 3 she got fake hair added to her regular braids because she didn’t have any sides yet… bad call… I know… then as time went on she got long braids something like the “200s” but hers were curly at the end with the fake hair… then over the years she has had kinky twist, corn rolls with hair added and the real long close together corn rolls where you can’t see the parts. I HATE that I allowed others to put fake hair in my baby’s hair. I pray to God that I didn’t ruin her! When she was younger a women used to braid yarn in to her hair just to make her corn rolls last and I LOVED it, it didn’t add length but just helped with the styling. She’s been fake hair free for over a year and I have no plans to ever do that to her again, braids, kinky twist or otherwise. Instead I am helping her to embrace her truly natural hair. She’s 5 ½ and currently wears a big afro with an array of headbands and she looks adorable!!! Everyone says how cute she looks and she just basks in the compliments… it really makes her feel good about herself! No more weave or fake hair for us… ever… seriously. As long as I can help it my daughter will remain truly natural. I just hope the world doesn’t change her… I know it changed me and I almost changed my daughter. I’m so anti fake hair it’s not even funny.
Unfortunately I used to wear a weave, and it was the worst thing I had ever done to my hair. It looks nice after a day but then it looks like you are wearing a dead animal on your head lol. I wouldn't really go so far as to say that people who wear weaves have a complex. I think most women in general have this long hair complex. You rarely if ever see girls wear their hair short because they are afraid of "looking like a boy." I frankly just don't get it. I understand that long hair is desirable to most people because it is considered sexy and feminine, but I'm kind of tired of long hair being the be all and end all. Everybody I see on a daily has long hair. Whenever I go on natural hair groups, people are obsessing over long hair and even going so far as to measure their hair every week or month. One girl even asked me how long would it take for her hair to grow 18 inches. Then there are people who freak out if, god forbid, they get a hair cut. They rest so much on their long pretty hair that without it they don't feel confident and beautiful. All their insecurities come out once they don't have that hair going all the way down their back. It's just sad. As for little girls wearing weave, I just think it looks weird and odd, I mean, weaves in general look fake as hell as it is but when you see a little girl wearing it, it's just weird looking. Ever since my weave experience I became natural and haven't gone back since, and I'm against weaves in general. I also like to embrace my short hair, always have since I had only 2 inches of hair. Long hair isn't everything, but for some reason everybody and society puts pressure on all girls to have long hair. Hopefully maybe one day that will change (probably not though).
I am a former weaveaholic and I can honestly admit that I had a hair complex.I mean if I didnt have that hair glued to my scalp my world wasn't right.Didn't matter that the glue made my scalp itch and that it smelled horrible I was addicted,same thing for the creamy crack.My natural hair wasn't allowed to show at all or it was whipped into shape and laid down with some 10in yaki.Faking the funk was too stressful for me, worrying if my own hair was blending into the weave making sure it was straight enough. Not wanting anyone to touch it so they couldn't feel the tracks. I am so glad I gave it up and cut that crap out of my life.I will never ever go back to that lifestyle.I will admit that I have some loc issues but they are far less stressful than dealing with that mess.
I feel like the only reason why this is a story is because it's a little black girl. As it's been pointed out, most if not all pageant children get weaves of some kind, in some form. Have ya'll ever seen Toddlers and Tiaras? That shows the lengths people will go to period to have their little princesses win these things.
SMH
This clip is from Toddlers and Tiaras in which even the little white girls wear wigs. If you watch the episode, her weave is done up to look just like those white girl's wigs at the actual pageant. It's just a 'do for the pageant and she's keeping up with the Jones. Before the install she's rockin all kinds of puffs, which makes it seem to me that weave's are not in this little girl's regular style rotation.
I've worn weaves/track/phony pony. in my hair since I was about 12/13. Never really had much thought about it other than I could go from short to long in a matter of minutes. I have no attachment to hair whatsoever...I think that has to do with my mother being a cancer survivor and having her hair fall out and be okay with it. I cut it, sew it in, glue it in, braid it up, put a wig on with no problem. I do however think that some women do have a hair complex. Long hair in our community is looked at as best no matter if its a weave or the hair that's growing out your scalp. That extends to natural hair too...many naturals are concerned about length too.
I was waiting for my turn at the salon to get my locs re-twisted and a mother brought her daughter in to have a weave installed. She also had her small daughter with her (maybe 5 years old, dark complexioned, hair kind of short, and cornrowed with beads). This little girl wandered off to watch another child get her hair done whose hair was down to her knee-caps. She looked to be about the same age, but had very light skin, obviously black features, but maybe biracial. (I only reference the skin color to differentiate between the two girls) The darker skinned girl, entranced, watched the lighter skinned girl as the beautician PLAYED in her hair She was mesmerized and so were other stylists and people in the salon. You could hear: "whose child is that"....."is that your baby with all that hair"....ooooo this and oooo that. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm hating. Her hair was gorgeous, but to put those two side by side, they were equally adorable and pretty. Some people were making comments and laughing at how the other girl was wishing she had hair like that and also because she was so enthralled about how pretty this child's hair was. I observed this and overheard the child's mother telling people in the lobby that her daughter was obsessed with hair to the point where its all she talks about and how she knew she had a diva in the making on her hands. I thought she was just being funny until I saw the hair-obsession for myself. I could hear the comments the child was making and bombarding the long-haired girl with questions and trying to touch it and comparing her to her doll (which she had brought with her). She was unabashedly doting on her.
To make the long story short, the darker skinned child went back to her mother and began telling her about the other girl's hair and how she wanted hers to be long like that and hoped they would not cut that girl's hair. I waited for her mom's response. Well… she told her daughter that her hair would never be that long and that people whose hair is that long are born that way and she would have to deal with it. She could get a sew-in like her and her sister (pointing to her own weave) when she was was older and could have whatever hairstyle she wanted -curly, straight, or wavy. Take it out and put it back in, she said. The little one sat attentively, but didn't seem convinced. Her Mom told her that she was beautiful either way and then kissed her on the cheek. It was sweet, but I wasn't convinced. I think her Mom tried to be positive, but I don't agree with her responses (just my opinion). I watched the stylist enthusiastically pull out weave remnants for the little girl’s sister while she decided on a style. I felt eyes on me when all of the other beauties in the salon caught a glimpse of my then (well still) busted baby locs when I took my hat off as if to say "what is she gon' get done to dat?" How ironic.
The little girl with the cornrows and beads went back to her new long-haired friend to watch her get the finishing touches. She sat at her feet trying to touch her hair – it was weird. Dang near panicked when they trimmed the child's ends...Just kids, I know, innocent little girls. What made it more interesting was when yet another little girl came in with a full head of hair to her shoulders and the little one started gawking at her hair as well. She wasn’t quiet about it either and everyone in the shop was amused. Ok, I'm done rambling. I had to shorten this to not go over my word limit…More to the story, but B. this is your blog not mine. I needed to rant. Who in this salon was normal? They looked at me like I was crazy with my kinks and naps, and I looked at them like “yall gotta be kidding me”!
@K.M.S.- That's interesting! Also in some ways kind of bizarre. This is what I mean by this long hair complex not only pertaining to those who wear weaves. This is why young girls feel so vulnerable, is just this whole obsession with wanting long hair like white people or like biracial people. I just wish it would stop. Women CAN and ARE beautiful with short hair as well, little girls included. Why is having long hair SO important that we have to doll up our little girls with fake weaves and dote over the little girls or pretty women who have long hair while the short haired girl just gets ignored or is called a boy? Sorry for my rant as well B, but it seriously irks me. A friend of mine is the only girl i have ever known personally who wears her hair super short (she's white, but that's not really the point), but she rocks it SO well, and yet the only time she ever gets compliments is when she is wearing a wig (just for fun), and then people tell her "so why won't you just grow out your hair?" It's like jeez people why can't women have a choice? why does everybody have to have long hair? Uggh.
I understand her mom dolling her up like the other girls in the pageant - hair and makeup! I don't like it, but I get it. But what I would loved to have seen is her rock her own hair, puffs, braids, press it out, or whatever and get up on that stage. It'd be even better to know that a black girl her age has won (or placed) without the extra tracks in the "mainstream" kid pageants. Maybe somewhere, one has. Maybe somewhere one has dreamt of a crown and title without the preceeding thoughts of wondering "is my hair pretty enough" to compete with the other girls simply because of it's texture or length. What if....what if her Mom had added kinky tracks to her hair and styled it in a big afro poof? Would your perspective of the situation change?
Hello,
I guess in the pageant world wigs, weaves and tracks are common but the kind of hair you put on little black girls is far from kinky or curly or afro...leading them to appreciate long straight hair and to dislike their own hair. That is the problem. Besides, we all know that for black women, hair is crucial subject : natural, relaxed, extensions braids....so dealing with wigs (or relaxer, or braids) at the age of 3 is in my opinion building insecurity about black beauty at a young age and starting the fake/texturized hair addiction. Let them embrace their own hair and they will decide later on whether they want to stay natural or not.
BTW Lovin this blog and wish there were more french natural girls
Peace from Paris
Mona
I can't see the video at work, but I can only imagine what it's showing...but to answer your question about long hair, I think it's taught to us at a young age. I know I can remember my grandmother ALWAYS telling us that our hair was our "crown and glory" (which it is) and that we should NEVER cut it. When I was growing up, of course I wore my hair "natural" (I was a 70s baby), so I had the funky braid designs that my Mama would come up with, the afro-puffs, you name it. But it was something about getting those BEADS on my hair and having that "swing" effect. I can look back now and see how I was unintentionally, mentally brainwashed into believing that if I could "swing" my hair in those braids, I was pretty. My Mama didn't brainwash me, society did. Thankfully though, it's something that we have to recognize and understand before we can overcome it, and thank goodness I did!
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